Meltdown

Today my son had to take some popsicles to school. My wife had them all frozen - the little juicy ones in their own bags that you have to rip open with your teeth. My son being a sharp 8 year old asked that she put them in a bag to preserve the cold. The bag just has an extra lining that looks like foil inside, so that they can stay cold on the ride to school.

However, my sharp son reasoned that if this was a bag that preserves cold, he felt that he was carrying his own personal refrigerator. So instead of giving the load to his teacher to put in the freezer, he kept the bag next to him in class all day.

Finally when it came time to enjoy their treats, he produced is bag of melted popsicles.

Presents for Me Too

Today my daughter came to me with a sad face. "You always buy mommy presents."
"Like what? I get you presents. I just made you a book of all the pictures you drew."
"That's a medium present."
"What's a large present?" I asked.
"Like a box of chocolate or ice cream, something tasty, like you get for mommy."
So today when I got flowers for my wife, I got a few roses for my daughter.

A Slice of Marriage

"What you didn't touch the chicken cutlets!"

"Well where were they?"

"On the plate over the pot of pasta!"

"Oh! well I thought that was just a plate covering the pot of pasta. Anyway you put another plate over the cutlets."

"Yeah, to keep them warm for you! What? Did you think I just left some pasta for your dinner."

"Well, I thought you probably made some chicken to go along with it, but after I took the pasta, I couldn't figure out where you hid it."

"On top of the damn pasta!"

My daughter runs in. "Oh chicken, yummy!" She starts piling the cutlets into her mouth.

"Well someone's hungry," I say.

"She's starving! Didn't you think of giving her anything to eat?"

"She didn't ask for anything."

"She's five! You are her parent. You have to LOOK AFTER HER."

"I know, but you didn't say to do anything. I didn't want to upset you."

"You can CALL me."

"Ok, well, look I mean, she's still alive."

"What? Are you trying to comfort me?"

"Is it working?"

"No!"

"So am I a good husband? I'm trying to be better."

"You don't learn. It's the same mistakes. What are you afraid me?"

"No!" I snap, "of course I'm not afraid of you. Why do you want to be afraid of you?"

My Experiences

As a married person with children, I am open to discussing and sharing my experiences. Every day my children do things that drive us crazy.

We have three kids:
H. a boy age 9
D. a boy age 7
S. a girl (princess) age 5

I can share a few from this week.
Every morning coming back from shul, I hope everyone will get ready like clockwork and we can be out of the house on our way to school by 8.|

• Well one day H. lies in bed, feigning a stomachache saying how he doesn't want to go to school. After yelling at him, and not giving him a choice he comes around and he are out of the house by 8:20
• The next day everything is going fine, but D. gets the last chocolate muffin.  H. as a fit and spills D.'s range juice on his shirt and pants. D. is super-sensitive to even a drop of water and has a fit, getting changed and yelling at  H..
• The next day everything is going fine, then S. decides that she doesn't want to go to pre-school and lies on the ground not willing to cooperate, saying how everyone is dumb in pre-school. Finally we convince her that she has no choice and she will not go into first grade if she continues like this. Again we are late.
• S. as decided she is smarter than everyone and corrects everything we say. Going to pre-school I had the radio going, and the announcer said Prime Minister Netanyahu. S. immediately shouted, "It's not prime minister Netanyahu, it's Bibi Netanyahu!"
• The next day D. comes home from school with sopping wet shoes, right to the bone. My wife was  livid. He smiles at her and says, "You got new shoes for H. when he got his shoes wet, so I want new shoes too. I jumped in every puddle I could find!"

There is no end to these stories. I don't dread this life. I don't look back on my single years with nostalgia, or that I am missing out on some other activity. I still get together with a friend occasionally for a dinner, or for coffee in the morning. I still go out to see movies, and I even go out for a nice dinner just with my wife. After they go to school, we look at each other and laugh about our crazy kids. They also do a lot of fun things that make us love, and they kiss us and hug us and can make us proud and happy.